There are two kinds of people in this world. There are sheep, which is to say that there are people out there that just follow the given pattern of life or situation. They do what they are told and rarely if ever question the situations presented to them. Then there are wolves. They don’t follow the norms and tend to walk to the beat of a different drummer. They enjoy confrontation, question authority and get agitated when surrounded by sheep. More often than not, Wolves eat sheep and idiots for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
For instance, a sheep would walk into a starbucks, order a Hot Venti Chai Latte with Non-Fat milk. Once the drink was prepared, an initial sip might inform the sheep that the drink was many things but none of them fit the preconceived notion of what that drink was supposed to be… like hot, filled with Chai, and using Non-Fat milk.
A sheep would take the drink, walk out the door without complaint directly under the scrutiny of the barista behind the counter. A wolf would walk into a starbucks, order a Hot Venti Chai Latte with Non-Fat milk. Once the drink was prepared, an initial sip might inform the wolf that not only is the barista behind the counter a morbidly obese monkey whose best days were long behind her (not insignificantly bunched up like to basketballs on her backside) but also that the drink failed to meet even the most liberal views of what a Hot Venti Chai Latte with Non-Fat milk should be.
Ergo, the wolf would pleasantly and politely inform the barista that while a piss poor work ethic flew with the corporate lackey’s that hired her ghetto ass to meet some lame affirmative action doctorine, it won’t fly with the wolf. “Shake your considerable ass over to the esspresso maker and try it again!” the wolf might say.
The barista may infact be under the misguided perception that she is a wolf and throw a little ‘tude. But a true wolf will pull the wool up to the surface and let the sheep show her true colors.
Here is the dialog as it may happen:
Barista: What do you want?
Wolf: Sorry but my drink is luke warm and I can’t even taste the chai. Do you think you could heat it up and add a few more splashes of chai?
Barista: Phfffffff, that will cost extra!
Wolf: Wait. Are you throwing me attitude? You WORK IN A FUCKING STARBUCKS! You sling coffee for a living! That’s your job… to do one thing right, make fucking coffee that passes as drinkable! Shake your considerably fat ass over to the esspresso machine and try it again, otherwise I’m going to have to snatch those fake-ass predator/whoopi dredlocks from your bald head!
At this point, I would imagine that the rest of the sheep who had the misfortune of getting a coffee drink from this miserable person would also chime in… but knowing sheep, they’d probably avert their eyes and continue living their worthless lives as if nothing strange was happening.
POST NOTE: I wrote this in response to something that happened this weekend. My GF will now be known as a “sheef,: or a combination of a sheep and a wolf… or maybe “shelf” would be more appropriate? 😉