Inherently Different

The One Where I Point Fingers

After being a member of BlogExplosion for a week or so, I’ve come to understand the blogosphere a little bit better… or at least as it pertains to BlogExplosion bloggers.

These bloggers seem to fall into a few categories:

The Link Pimp: This blogger is a former abuser of email memes. Now instead of forwarding stupid jokes or chain emails, he now simply links to whatever content he/she finds interesting. Occasionally he/she might throw in a few witty asides, but for the most part, his/her genius is borrowed from others.

The Google Whore: This blogger saturates his/her posts with certain keywords that seemingly entice the googlebots to crawl his/her page over and over again in an effort to be listed first in a google search. These people are the Web equivalent of real world namedroppers.

The Patriot: With the election coming soon, more and more of these bloggers have surfaced. Fortunately for all of us, these people will go back to posting detailed descriptions of their hello kitty collections sometime in June of 2005 when the election hoopla dies down.

The Uber Mommy: These bored housewives have nothing better to do with their time than to bludgeon unsuspecting blogexploders with pictures of their drooling, mongoloid children in various stages of undress. The only thing I want from them quite honestly is the secret to how they bend time to their will! Seriously, how else can you explain how the 30-second wait-to-click imposed by blogexplosion can somehow last for 30 minutes on Uber Mommy Blogs?

UPDATE: Pylorns wanted to know where I rate… so…

The Uber Jackass: This longtime blogger has been blogging since before there really was a term for it. In fact, so long has this asshole been desparately looking for attention from complete strangers that his unsuccessful attempts have made him bitter. He spends his blogging days attacking others for their imagined shortcomings.

9 thoughts on “The One Where I Point Fingers”

  1. Hmmm… methinks you are talking about me here with some of these.

    I’m the longtime personal website owner (1995 – before there was blogging software and anyone called it that), I often getting politically pissed off (patiently waiting for the streets to run with blood), and I have had a website for so long that I don’t find much point in it so I talk about my lame ass Transformers collection a lot as filler content in lieu of actually something to say.

  2. OMG. I started really “surfing” through blogexplosion today… you’re right.. bored soccer mom/housewives and linkwhores. I went to one site that simply said “you’ve reached the entry site for blogexplosion, please link this site.”

    Link WHORES!

    Ok so if you look at my post today, i did the same thing well not really..

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