fight the power, pt. 2

An open letter to my blog:

Dear Monkey Diaries,

I’m really sorry I’ve been away for so long. Well, not away as much as blatantly ignoring you. See, something has been missing from our relationship for quite some time. I wish I could say it was me, but the truth is it’s really been all you.

There was a time when I couldnt wait to return to your warm embrace, but these days it is becoming increasingly difficult to be excited by you. I guess what I am really saying is that you’re a little older than I remember you… you sag in places that were previously tight and firm, the bags under your eyes can no longer be covered by increasingly thicker layers of foundation, and more importantly, I’m not sure I love you anymore.

The question I guess is whether or not I’m willing to simply go through the motions for appearances. Should I just keep my emotions in check and continue to waltz around town with you, arm in arm, as if nothing was wrong? Should I pretend the spark is still there between us? I mean, I know you still feel exactly the same way about me as you ever have. I can still feel the electricity as I gently hit the keys of your heart, but you seem to be oblivious to the way I feel about you. You don’t seem to mind the fact that more and more time is being spent in the arms of another.

Yes, that’s right. I said it. I went there. I am hopelessly in love with another and let me tell you, she makes me feel like a school boy. She listens intently, taking in my thoughts and words with barely a raised eyebrow. She even has me convinced I can be published… that’s something you have never done for me. Perhaps it’s all a pipe dream, but I still feel that particular siren call.

All this said, I still feel that I will return to you like a dog returns to an old chewed-up shoe. You just need to give me time to figure out what it is I want from you and whether or not I truly believe you can give it to me.

Warmest regards,

The Monkey Diarist.