I just posted this ad on Craigslist seeking a new roommate.
Mr. Newmark, Mayor Newsom, tourists of North Beach, distinguished and fellow citizens of Russian Hill: Every once in a great while, by law and by custom, I post here to consider the state of my Union Street Address. This year, I gather myself here before you, deeply aware of the decisive days that lie ahead. I must find a new roommate, effective immediately.