“When in Rome,” a wise man once said, “do as the Romans do!”
Of course, if you’re in Hawaii, doing as the Hawaiians do could get your ass handed to you on a plate, Poi optional.
It is funny. When I first moved up to the Bay Area from San Diego, it was difficult for me to adjust to strangers on the street looking me in the eye and saying hello. I’ve become used to it living in the city of San Francisco. Now, here, on Maui, no one looks you in the eye. I try, I make eye contact and the few who look back, think I’m challenging them to a fight to the death. Well, the males anyway. The females look at me with disgust… that isn’t unusual since I’m a fucking troll but still, I thought I would blend in with all the other trolls who inhabit this island.
Does anyone need anything from the islands? I’ll send you a paradise care package. In exchange, I’ll expect someone to ship me a Zachary’s Stuffed Pizza.
Yikes! I’m dating a troll…
Have you tried the chicken basil pizza with the extra special spiral of pesto on top? Oh. My. God. If I could ship you Zachary’s, I totally would, but it just wouldn’t be the same, not fresh out of the oven and sans a waiter who, when he serves it up, will cut that one string of cheese against the side of the plate with his spatula and a special flair. Love that.