Inherently Different

Manbingo: Married to the Blog

I’m 38 and unmarried. Some may opine, not unreasonably, that the fact that I’m not married has more to do with the fact that no woman is willing to put up with my shit. Not completely true.

It is my belief that there are certain paths a man must walk before he walks down the aisle. I like to think of the time before you get married as a game called manbingo (not to be mistaken with mandingo which is a game white women play with rather large black men).

The rules for playing manbingo are fairly simple. In manbingo you need to cross certain feats off a list (called the manbingo card) as they happen or as soon as reasonably possible. Most dedicated manbingo players commonly carry their manbingo cards with them wherever they may roam, cause lets face it, you never know when a troop of lost Swedish sex therapists might cross your path (typically #16 on the average manbingo card for those keeping score).

Manbingo cards have five rows and five columns with random numbers filling each square. Each of these numbers has a corresponding “action” that is commonly agreed upon by all the players of your particular manbingo game. The center of the card holds a star or the “free space” which is automaticallly filled.

If you are the first to complete ALL the “actions” on a card, you move on to a harder collection of actions. Ladies, if you have a man and he’s reluctant to walk down the aisle, chances are he’s still got many, many manbingo squares to fill.

6 thoughts on “Manbingo: Married to the Blog”

  1. Do you know where one can get pre-fab manbingo cards? I know someone who’s having trouble filling his squares with actions. He can hardly win if his card isn’t even functional, can he?

  2. Given that all men are unique creatures and do things at their own pace, on average, how long does it take a man to complete the game? And what is your timeframe for finishing? Just curious.

  3. Well, a typical man might complete say two 5×5 cards in their lifetime, which is saying that they might have fifty experiences that count. A man can be said to be “finished” with the game after completing just one card (thats 25 experiences worth writing home about for those of you keeping score). Some men might never be done playing, hence the term, Player.

  4. Playing manbingo and not being married is not uncommon. I think that down in San Francisco Castro district there are some people who are single and play manbingo too! ;).

  5. Actually, yuckyuck you can’t really play manbingo if you’re married. You play manbingo AND THEN you get married, cause lets face it, once you’re married, your playing days are over.

Comments are closed.