There are many things that can cause a man to lose interest in a young lady. Quite possibly the most common, even if he won’t admit it, is a woman’s complete lack of confidence. There are few words in the English language that can turn a hard man soft as quickly as “do you think I’m fat?”
Some of you, my precious female readers, may think me harsh in saying this, but in the pursuit of truth, soft sells get in the way of the greater good. A woman doesn’t have to do much to be sexy. She can act in a variety of ways and still remain attractive. The same is true for a man of course, but we can leave that discussion for another time. Women can be attractive no matter what they do, but that can change in an instant depending on what comes out of their mouth.
When involved in a relationship, insecurity is counterproductive. To question your worth, your attractiveness, your social ability or even your weight is unattractive. Getting someone else to validate you is petty and puts the brakes on an otherwise speedy relationship. A woman who needs constant validation will find herself single faster than JLo before the prenup.
I know, I know… many of you are thinking, “This guy is an asshole! Everyone can use a kind word here and there.” Unfortunately, you’re missing the point if that’s what you’re thinking. A woman who has to fish for compliments isn’t attractive. Truth be told, if you have to request compliments, how can you possibly believe the person offering that fished for compliment really means what he says? For the most part, men are lazy and they will always seek the path of least resistance. If offering a girl a compliment after she has fished for it will get him out of trouble quickly and easily, he’ll give it EVEN if he doesn’t believe it. Yes ladies, he will lie to you to prevent sleeping alone.
I’ve been involved with many weak women in my life. While I’d like to blame them for any failures in our relationships, the truth is the failures were mine. In each instance I refused to play the game the way they wanted it played. They’d say things in order to elicit a certain response and I wouldn’t do it. I’d rather say nothing than give a compliment due to coercion or manipulation.
Yes… a woman can have various physical flaws in my eyes… hell, I’m not perfect by a long shot. The one thing I can’t deal with is a woman who lacks self confidence.
But a random, “You look hot today” type comment would certainly be nice to hear every once in a while.
I’m not talking about fishing for a compliment, I’m talking about one person just happening to say it to another to make them feel good (even if it doesn’t happen to be true, and yes, oftentimes we know it isn’t true).
Most girls I know don’t even get that much though. So, is there a happy medium somewhere?
I think any compliment freely given is a good thing.
having to constantly validate someone else does very much suck.
it is so passive agressive to require that kind of validation all the time.
it seems likeit would be a whole lot better to just say something like “damn i am feeling crappy about my weight right now.”
but then what? what you really want is for the other person to tell you that they still love you even if you have gained 5 pounds and look fat in that dress.
also, not reacting in the way you know they want you to react is also irritatingly passive agressive.
so instead of beinf irritated with the girl you could say “are you feeling crappy about your weight right now? well, i love you and think you look great”
guys, tell her she looks fabulous in the dress and grab her ass more often please.
HAHAHAHA! Yes Minnie… you are right. A well-timed grab of the ass combined with a lecherous gaze can work wonders in any situation. I stand corrected.
Man you gotta deal with that question, all women are going to say “do i look fat in this”
See Pylorns, that’s the kind of attitude that will bite you in the ass in the long run. You DON’T HAVE TO deal with that question… ever. The moment you buy into the idea that you should reward insecurity, you’re jacked FOR. THE. REST. OF. YOUR. LIFE. Don’t do it man, by god, don’t do it!