The One About Those Damn Yankees

I’m a sports fanatic. In fact, I’ve attended a few World Series games, two Superbowls, a Sugar Bowl, a fiesta bowl, a Stanley Cup Final, an Indoor Soccer Championship, an IHL championship, a AVP Tour Championship, and a Championship Boxing match.

To counterbalance the collection of athletes and teams I root for, I have an equally populated list of sports “enemies!” Outside of their particular sport I don’t wish them ill. I can appreciate them as human beings or individuals, but if they are on the wrong team or competing against one of my favorites, there isn’t a hole in Hell deep enough to contain my overflowing contempt.

Some sports franchises have pushed me beyond the usual contempt I reserve for the enemy. The New York Yankees are one of those teams.

I don’t care if Stalin, Mussolini, Freddy Krueger, Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden, Barry Bonds, John McEnroe, Charro, and Ommarosa took to the field for a winner take all match against them, I would still root against the Yankees. Hell, nine guys who club baby seals for a living would get my allegiance before any Yankee team.

Last night was fun because I started watching the hype build throughout the day. CNN, ABC, FOX, and an alphabet soup of media outlets covered the rising importance of the game between the Yankees and Red Sox. I watched a countless number of New Yorkers bag on the historically hapless Beantown ballers and their inability to win “the big game.” As if I needed another reason to root against Steinbrenner’s evil minions, a win by the Red Sox would mean New Yorkers would have to shut their gaping pie holes until next April.

Unlike many opportunities that preceded last night’s game, the Red Sox didn’t waste this one. Congrats to the Red Sox and to all their fans. Few franchises in sports deserve the opportunity to play for all the marbles as much as you.

As for the Yankees? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!