I’m having an argument with myself. As is usually the case in such situations, I’m winning and losing at the same time.
"I’m bored with these links."
"Well, just delete them all. Start over."
"Some of these people link me! I can’t just delete their links."
"Why not? What makes you think the links on your site back to theirs mean anything to them? Your daily traffic total hasn’t exceeded the day’s temperature in months."
"That’s beside the point. The links are a show of solidarity."
"Who do you think you are? Lech Walesa?"
"No, I just mean that these people link me and by doing so, show that I am an ally."
"Allies don’t call each other names. When’s the last time Tony Blair called George Bush cockknocker?"
"Cocksucker."
"Whatever."
"I just can’t delete them. Each one is valuable. Like the virtual equivalent of a hundred dollar bill."
"You just erased two today. Didn’t bat an eyelash!"
"Neither of those two bloggers has visited this site for months. I doubt they’ll even notice they’ve been banished."
"NONE OF THESE PEOPLE WOULD! That’s my point."
"Well, I won’t do it. Not until they piss me off or something."
"Given your recent ability to piss people off, that shouldn’t take long."
"True. You’re onto something there…"
"Yeah, sure… piss them off and they’ll delink you… Reminds me a lot of a couple of recent relationships you’ve had. Remind me to nominate you for passive-aggressive of the month."
"Fuck you, you heinous troll."
"Right."