Inherently Different


In my opinion, there are three types of parents.

The first is the “oh shit, you’re pregnant?!?” parent. They are not only ill-prepared for raising a family, but they most likely gave very little thought to being a parent until they were well on their way. They may not have planned their family, but once set in motion, they never forget that it is a human being that needs discipline as much as they need unconditional love

The second type is the “oh, won’t we look so cute with a baby” parent. They’re the ones who see their children as little walking billboards for their affluence. They buy clothes from baby gap, toys from The Discovery Store, and buy super-strollers with mountain bike tires, storage compartments, and a Land Rover to take the little tyke to Montessori.

The third type is the kind that views children as the “next logical step” in the evolution of their relationship. They’re the “well, we’ve done everything else” parent. They often times are as ill-prepared for parenthood as the first type, but make bigger mistakes because they’re just trying to avoid the same mistakes their parents made in raising them. They never discipline their children, don’t teach them manners, and do everything but wrap them in bubble wrap and anti-biotic ointment to keep them from harms way.

You really have to wonder about people who are adamant about starting a family in the first place. It is a big responsibility that few people are prepared to take on, yet, there they go spewing forth another generation. There are very few legitimate reasons for having children, but that doesn’t seem to stop most people from polluting the world with their genes.

I think many people have kids not for some deep seated instinct to procreate, but as a way of righting the wrongs in their own lives. They see their own children as an experiment in a controlled environment in which they will use to prove their worth to the rest of society.

Just so we’re on the same page, I absolutely adore children. Not in a Michael Jackson way, but because they are not yet completely brainwashed into being politically correct. Yes, I like kids because they’re infinitely more honest (and by association, interesting) than adults. But once parents begin parenting, they RUIN everything. They do their best to turn them into clones of their own design, beating down creativity and individual thought.

I guess what I’m saying is that so few parents these days remember what it was like to be a kid. The sheer joy from rolling around in the mud. The excitement and awe found from a simple trip to the corner store on your own for the first time. The feel of your helmut-free head as your hair streams behind you while careening down a steep hill on your bike. The way your favorite pair of pants, holes in both knees, felt just out of the wash. Watching TV all morning on Saturday and recreating what you saw with your friends later that afternoon. Do remember what it was like to be a kid?

I’m sure there are exceptions to the rule. There always are. I just don’t see them very often.

16 thoughts on “tempted”

  1. No… My philosophy when it comes to children doesn’t stem from anything more complicated than pragmatic thinking. There are things in our lives that are necessary. Eating, drinking, breathing, for instance. Everything else is ego.

    Having children is the clearest example of egotism known to man (and woman). Don’t believe me? Give me one good reason to procreate. Let’s be clear, though… survival of the species is no longer a reason. Who needs one more banana republic clad latte swiller?

  2. I like Banana Republic… that shameful? Really I have 18 of their grey t-shirts.

    Umm, I really liked this post. I am gonna think of a reason for procreation ( not,as is written, for E! to procreate..that would clearly be a mistake)

  3. Full disclosure: I own plenty from BR. I also swill latte… my point being does the world need me to procreate, which you and I clearly agree is something that shouldn’t be allowed.

  4. Personally, if this were China, I’d have you forcibly sterilised just in case you changed your mind.
    Or is this a test?
    If we justify kiddos then you will become a father? LOL, how cool would that be…much better than being “tagged” 😛

  5. Hahahahah! No, I love children, but don’t think I’d make a very good parent. Not because I hate responsibility, but because I don’t think I have any good reasons to bring a child into this world. I have ego, just like anyone else, but refuse to bring some one into this world just because I can.

  6. One of the things I pride myself on as a parent(there’s my fat ego ;-P ), is my ability to “play”. Being an improviser means that I pretend and make shit up all the time, even in front of an audience! That’s PURE EGO.

    Yeah, I can see how having a kid is an ego thing. But the love. Man the love you feel for that little person made from half of you is earth shattering. Again, Ego, but damn, pot feels good, so does being a mom.

    I don’t like other people’s kids. Very few I can stand. Mostly due to the amount of really obnoxious and rude shit they let them get away with. Creativity and individuality is one thing, raising an inconsiderate, ignorant, arrogant and generally fuckin’ annoying asshat is another.

    Good post 😉

  7. Although I think there is a “good reason” to have children, who says there needs to be? Is there a good reason to go waterskiing? Not really–you do it because it’s fun and you want to. Is there a good reason to eat at a fine restaurant when you can nourish yourself and survive on the cheap stuff? It’s all about choosing what you want to experience in your life. Sometimes ego is a part of it, and sometimes it’s not. I plan to be a thoughtful parent, and that’s more than I can say for a lot of the breeders out there.

    That being said, you still rock.

  8. Being a parent is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I’m not sure if it is ego or whatever you might think, all I know is that I just want to be a better person for them and do what ever it takes to make my kids happy.

  9. I’m probably a type 3-ish. . .not that I’ve ever said, Well, here’s the next logical step. It just never occured to me that NOT having children was an option. And I’m definitely all about bubble-wrap.

    And I like what Leah had to say here (2 years ago).

    But here’s a question: What would you consider a good reason to have children? Are there any?

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