In response to Chai & Apple Pie’s recent post, I thought I should help you, my faithful minions, serve internet morons a piece of humble pie… Please email this to any religious zealots you know:
Dear Fellow Christian Soldier,
I just heard that FOX will be forced to discontinue "24" for depicting terrorists as Muslim in everyother program. Jimmy Cornheiser, a noted cultural anthropologist, successfully eliminated the use of images of pimps and hoes from "Starsky & Hutch" fifteen years ago. His organization has now been granted a Federal Hearing to review the subject of how terrorists are depicted on Television by the Federal Communication Commission (FCC) in Washington, D.C.
Their petition, No.1487, would ultimately pave the way to preventing the depiction of all Terrorists as Muslim, the way our Lord and Savior intended, on the airwaves of America. Cornheiser and his ilk took this petition with 287,000 signatures to back their stand.
If this attempt is successful, all episodes of "24" being broadcast either by television or cable will stop. This group is also campaigning to remove all Arabs, Palestinians and Syrians from operating convenience stores in the US, which goes against the tenets our Lord and Savior intended! If you can’t subjegate an entire group of people for their beliefs, what’s the point of being a good christian? You Can help!
We are praying for at least one million signed letters, provided that you can work in a few letter writing sessions in between your hypocritical religious zealotry (we don’t want to interfere with the lord’s good works!). This would defeat their effort and show that there are many religious zealots alive, well and completely lacking morals, tolerance and common sense in our country. Please print this letter the cut off and sign the form below.
PLEASE Do Not SIGN JOINTLY, such as Mr. & Mrs (even if you, like many christians are married to your sister or brother). Each person should sign one letter separately, and mail it in separate envelopes, perferably using separate bedrooms, separate drinking glasses, and most of all separate lives. Be sure to put Petition 1487 on the envelope when you mail the letter. This has to go through our regular mail. It is very important that the letters are mailed right away otherwise they’ll win and our rights as religious fanatics will be trampled like so many stalks of wheat under the cloven hooves of satan!
Please e-mail this letter to all your friends and relatives and to anyone else you feel like harrassing with yet another fanatical and completely erroneous attempt to protect our facists agenda. As Christians we must unite on this. Please do not take this lightly. We ignored Cornheiser once and lost pimps and hoes from Televisions across the nation.
Please stand up for your religious intolerance and let your voice be heard. Together we CAN make a difference in our country while creating an opportunity for hate for other religions and blind obedience to the lord our savior.
We’re fed up with political correctedness and will no longer allow you to pollute our limited cultural awareness with misguided attempts to force us into buying into the vast liberal conspiracy. We urge you strongly to ignore any petitions that do not promote the christian ideals (those of intolerance, bigotry, ignorance, and the accumulation of wealth through south american sweat shops!).
Please count me among the millions of religious zealots with more time than brains!