What do I know about relationships? I know what works for me… will what I do work for you? Probably, but chances are you’re going to do whatever it is you have learned to do and ignore anyone or anything that goes against what you believe to be true. If I am asked, here is what I have to offer anyone looking for relationship advice.
1. Be confident. Confidence is infinitely more valuable than looks or intelligence. Looks fade, intelligence is relative, but confidence will open more doors than a valet at a steak house.
2. Be honest to a fault. Honesty is possibly the only real value you can bring to any relationship. Never lie, even to spare someone’s feelings. And remember that there is a difference between being honest and being mean. One is done with malice, the other is free from malice.
3. Never be vague. Ask for what you want from your sig other and you’ll usually get it. Of course, that said, a little mystery goes a long way toward attracting people. Be enigmatic but don’t take it too far by being evasive. Remember the three T’s… Tempt. Titillate. Tantalize.
4. Don’t change anything about yourself to attract or keep the opposite sex. If you are a woman, this is especially true of your hair color. Just remember that god made blondes so that beer commercials wouldn’t be boring. True story. Anyway, the attraction of blondes isn’t really the hair… it’s a perception that they are usually fun and open minded. Any woman, regardless of hair color, can pull off that attitude.
5. Don’t argue with your heart. Ever. If you must, don’t cry or get emotional because that will just give them the impression that you’re hysterical if you are a woman, and effeminate if you are a man. Be logical, concise and run mental circles around them. Considering that the human body’s largest sexual organ is the brain, it is easy to see why people like people with big brains!
6. Always follow your instincts. If someone seems too good to be true, they usually are. Run. Run fast and far away.
7. Women should have curves not angles. Men should be men and act accordingly.
8. Sometimes people don’t know what they want until the don’t have it anymore. Be patient and don’t expect your sig other to realize anything if it isn’t spelled out in terms than can understand.
9. Always be yourself. If you pretend to be something your not, you’ll get whatever was meant for the person you pretended to be.
10. Say whatever is on your mind the moment you feel it. If you say I love you before your sig other does, it just means that you’re living in the moment. Don’t play games… people get enough of that from their ex’s… how do you think they got to be ex’s?
I especially agree with numbers 2, 4 (although, I encourage hair color changes for yourself!), 7, and 9. And while I definitely agree with not playing games and living in the moment the saying “I love you” before your sig other idea makes me cringe. 🙂
Yet, again, I agree with everything here, and I do attempt it, all except that, I love you part, sometimes (not always) I wimp out on that.
I’m sure you are much better than me at that part, Annie, but still… it’s tough. That little sentence carries so much weight. I prefer less weighty variations of it. 🙂
What you say is less important than saying it. The act of saying it is liberating, whether or not the word is love or like or lust or enjoy or need. The art is in not holding back what you feel while you are feeling it. Don’t get lost in details.
In that case, I get an A.