I am a procrastinator. Writing that, I should really also imply that I am a procrastinator like Pol Pot was a mass murderer, which is to say, if I am going to do something, I go all out.
See, a while back, I was tagged by Nina to do something or other… I believe it was to write down Seven Weird Things about me. Thing is, after reading that she had tagged me, I simply ignored it. Much like I ignored an ingrown toenail until it got infected and I came within a hair’s breadth of having that particular toe amputated. For days, my one prevailing thought, aside from wondering if my toe would survive, was, “Should I just pick a nickname now? Like Ed Nine Toes?” In the end though, the toe survived and all the time I spent trying to come up with a good nickname was just so much wasted energy.
I will be honest. I rarely participate in internet memes or tests or forwards on my blog. Mostly because I think they are cheap tricks to hide a lack of imagination. While this may be true, the alternative is to go weeks without a post. Ahem…
So, I find myself putting together a post about seven weird things about me. Funny thing though… as I started to write down these seven weird things, I realized that many of them are not news. I mean, they are things that I have written about before and doubt that even if you never read them prior to this post, you probably won’t be surprised to find them out.
In any event.. for better or worse, here they are…
7. I am a huge fan of Electric Light Orchestra, more commonly known as ELO.
In June of 1971, when I was five, my family moved to the United States. I didn’t speak a word of English and I had roughly three months to learn enough of this foreign language to function in Elementary school come September. (For those of you keeping score, that means that English is my second language. How does that make some of you gringos feel?) One way I managed to immerse myself into the culture and the language was listening to radio broadcasts on KCBQ, the local Top 40 station. Aside from the DJ’s and commercials, the music (and learning to sing along) taught me to speak English by osmosis. One of the bands that was on heavy rotation happened to be Electric Light Orchestra. As I grew older, and my knowledge of the language and culture grew, the one constant was ELO. In those early years, ELO provided the soundtrack to my experiences.
To this day, when I listen to an ELO song, the memories that bubble to the surface are powerful and hard to ignore. While some of those experiences weren’t happy, the music still brings a smile to my face 36 years later.
6. I don’t like people.
Yes, probably not hard to figure out. I am anti-social by nature, but when forced to interact with an idiot, I can be inhuman. Most people disappoint me, but all people bore me. Some exceptions include my gf, my father, and some children.
5. I take enormous pleasure from watching people run into glass doors.
Short of watching someone who has careened headlong into a glass door be decapitated by broken glass, few things can make laugh as hard and long as watching people run into glass doors.
4. Clowns make me uncomfortable.
I am unsure how this began. I don’t recall ever being frightened by a clown at an early age, but there it is. Stephen King’s IT is still one of the scariest books I have ever read and Killer Klowns From Outer Space is still one of the most disconcerting films I have ever watched.
3. I believe that religion is the one thing that has prevented man from transcending our primitive natures (also read as abolishing war, racism, hunger, & disease).
Truth be told, religion has killed more people than it has saved. Count me out.
2. My self-preservation instinct borders on non-existent.
I have done things that should have killed me, but for some reason, I have failed miserably. Not to say that I want to die, quite the contrary. It is just that I am not afraid of dying. I am aware of my mortality, but I just don’t really give a shit. If I contracted some terminal disease, I wouldn’t really bat an eyelash. We have a finite number of years and I can die right this moment and KNOW that I have done the most with what I was given. I am happy, content, and self aware enough to know that life is what you make of it.
And the number one weird thing about me…
will have to wait for another day…
That’s a little unfair. To leave us hanging like that.
I’m sorry to hear that you are disappointed and bored by most people, although I guess I knew that already.
That’s kind of funny about the clowns.
And I am not afraid of dying either, but I’m sure I’d bat an eyelash or two if I knew I was about to. And I am pretty sure I haven’t done the most with what I’ve been given, but still I am not afraid to die.
Take care of your toes. . .
Afraid of being dead? No. Afraid of the dying process, maybe a little. Not really a big fan of the excruciating pain of an extended illness or burning to death in a fiery crash. But other than wondering what the process will be, I’m not afraid of dying.