Inherently Different

swift kick

The One About Internet Access

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I make my living on the Internet. Without it, I don’t make money. I’ve had intermittant access since around December 30th and when I do have access, it’s dialup. In my opinion, anyone who still uses dialup probably sports a mullet, drives a camaro and eats at McDonalds regularly. I have an even lower opinion … Read more

The One About Delusions of Grandeur

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I just ended up on a blog written by a woman who considers herself a princess. I realized that I’ve landed on a number of blogs in the past year or so that claim to be written by self-entitled “princesses” (what’s the plural of a princess? princei?). I did a search… somewhere in the vicinity … Read more

The One About Breaking Up

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A friend of mine just broke up with her boyfriend of 2.5 years. Amazingly, I’ve been quite supportive and not my usual tough love kinda self. If you’ve read any of my advice posts in the past you’ll wonder if I’m channelling Mother Teresa. The truth is, I can sympathize with her because I was … Read more

The One Where I Give Advice

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A few posts ago I mentioned I was going to start answering some reader mail. No joke. I’m gonna start an advice column called, “A Swift Kick in the Pants” Here are the first few… From: mojo [xxxxxxxx@yahoo.com] To: Monkey_Diarist [monkeydiarist@gmail.com] Date: Mon, 30 Aug 2004 17:14:38 -0700 (PDT) Subject: What the fuck do you … Read more

Girl Who Cried Wolf

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Audrey Seiler is, by all accounts, a typical college student. Like all college students she finds pressure to get good grades, to socialize and to find her place in a chaotic collection of individuals inside the University system. There are many things you can do to stand out and it is looking more and more as if Audrey found a way to do just that.

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Loquisha to Checkout

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At the risk of being deemed racist, I have to say that the great experiment is over. Or it should be. Over the last few years, many “feel good” corporations began hiring minorities in order to present a more “diverse” corporate philosophy. Unfortunately, hiring minorities from the inner city also means completely giving up on a “customer first” philosophy for most of these corporations.

I first noticed this with Starbucks (you might remember this post dealing with just this sort of experience) and now, it has gained momentum and found its way to CompUSA.

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Dear Edge…

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I answer all my own email. Seriously. Some people believe that I make this stuff up but I’m not that creative… ask my ex-boss at ASW. Here are some recent emails and the thoughtfully direct help I gave them:

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